After the operation you are bound to feel low (to put it mildly) and as your body is putting all of its energy into rebuilding itself, you will probably find that, as well as being exhausted, you come down with all the usual illnesses that you are susceptible to.

For me (and excuse me if this is too much information), it’s irritable bowel syndrome, which is especially complicated by any morphine based pain medication – like tramadol, dihydrocodeine etc.

Even if you have never suffered from IBS, morphine based pain killers are likely to make you constipated and I simply cannot tell you how uncomfortable, bloated and painful constipation is when your body is badly bruised from your knee to your waist.  Any pressure at all is painful – I couldn’t even wear normal pants – I had to get my mum to buy me enormous G-strings (which all went in the bin after a few weeks I can assure you) – so, if you think what normal constipation feels like – multiply by a thousand.  Again (sorry if it’s too personal) in the week after the operation there were nights when I would sit for literally hours on the toilet, desperate for a shit – too uncomfortable (and afraid I would crap myself) to go back to bed – but nothing doing.  I actually took more pain killers because of the constipation, not realising that they were causing the problem in the first place.

Solutions though are good and easy:

1. 1.Start eating five portions of fruit and vegetables as soon as you can, especially bananas. 
   

2. 2.Cut down on the morphine based pain killers (it’s a trade off – but constipation is worse and creates a vicious circle.) 
   

3. 3.I took my brother’s prescription laxatives, but apart from it being a very bad idea to take anyone else’s medication, it was a bit rubbish really.  For me I also find Irish soda bread and live natural yoghurt a huge help (but that’s just me!) 
   

4. 4.Also aloe vera based “colon cleansers” and medication from health food shops are very useful.
   

Make sure you stock up on any remedies for anything you normally suffer from (at least you know you’ll use it at some point!)

As well as the usual suspects you will be lucky if you get away without cystitis.  I am very lucky normally as I don’t suffer from it (unlike my sisters), but around about the third week after the operation I suddenly developed killer cystitis.  Apparently (according to my doctor at my six week check up), cystitis and bladder infections are extremely common because of the stitches in the bladder (because they remove the tube that runs from the kidney to the bladder.)  Luckily I was staying with my sister when the cystitis kicked in and she had a whole barrage of remedies – cranberry pills and so on.  I’m really not sure if it made any difference to me – my own remedy for cystitis is as follows (and I hope it works for you):-

1. 1.Drink huge quantities of hot fluids (tea’s the best) and then try not to pee for as long as possible.
   

2. 2.Hot water bottle
   

3. 3.Paracetamol and natural antibacterial agents (such as garlic) might help. 
   

4. 4.Since then I have also discovered Manuka Honey (10+ strength) which is fantastic for any bacterial type problem – chest infections, cystitis, stomach bugs – so I highly recommend you try this.  There are also some studies that have looked at using it directly on wounds, and it is suggested that it is effective on MRSA type infections, so please do discuss with your medical team.
   

5. 5.I also recommend Atragalas, a herbal immune system booster, which I have found very good when I am fighting chest infections.  Personally I have tried Echinacea and it doesn’t agree with me, and this is another version of that, but supposedly stronger.  The capsules are very big, so to avoid any problems swallowing them you can also add this to tea - it tastes a little gritty, but I think that it is quite effective.
   

I did have the occasional bout of cystitis after that, but I’m pleased to say that it’s not been as bad or as often for a couple of years.

For the ladies, a few notes on periods too.  I highly recommend, especially if you suffer from period pain, that you go on the pill after the operation as soon as your doctor clears it, because period pain is only made worse by the bruising and weakened muscles.  It took me several years of needlessly painful periods before remembering this one!

Also, for some strange reason, a few days after the operation I got my period (it wasn’t due for another couple of weeks.)  It’s my personal belief that this was because my body knew that with the major surgery that I had had, loss of blood etc. that I couldn’t have supported a pregnancy.  But because it was several weeks early – an emergency period if you will – I think that my body had to crash my hormones – so coupled with the pain, emotions, lack of sleep and painkillers, I felt weirdly hormonal too.  In my worst moments I felt as though I had had a miscarriage, that after all the build up there was nothing left - just physical pain, a sense of emptiness and flat lining hormones.  I also knew that I would have to wait at least a year before getting pregnant, and in my current state I couldn’t imagine ever dating, imagine anyone ever wanting such a broken, bloated person.

I was ill last week, some bug.  It upset me because it took me back to what it was like to feel so helpless, but a few days later I was better and I appreciated even more how lucky I am to be fit and healthy.

My older sister got pregnant three months after the operation and I resented her so much.  I was becoming more healthy day by day, whereas she was growing fatter and having all manner of little health problems, but I knew that at the end of it all she would walk away with the most wonderful gift of all.  Every time she complained I wanted to slap her – and thankfully I told her so.  Her becoming a mum has made us closer, perhaps because she knows how deeply I envied her.  After she gave birth (with epidural) she turned to me and said “I could never have given Joel the kidney” and I was so grateful to her for being honest about it.

If I ever do get pregnant, I’ll deal with piles, swollen ankles, morning sickness and anything else that comes along (even labour) because the gift of life is a miracle.

And it’s exactly how I felt when I saw Joel on his 30th birthday – a year after the operation, chubby (for the first time ever), smiling, eating, surrounded by family, wearing a cowboy hat!  Whatever happens, I have given him days of life, days of freedom, days of health, and perhaps that is something that you can only appreciate when you have been really ill yourself.