Bodean’s, Clapham High Street

So I was on my way home from a party last night and had the urge for a burger.  My standards are not exceptionally high but I refuse to eat McDonalds, so I thought I’d lucked out when I saw that Bodean’s was still open, in fact I had only 4 minutes before the kitchen closed.

“We can’t do a well done burger” said the waiter - oh how right he was.

Unfortunately I was at home when I took my first bite of this burger.  Without doubt, the worst burger I have ever tasted in my life, and that is saying something.  It was like this (okay I’d had a few drinks)... bite... &*^%£$ what the %&%$$... drink some tea... think, it couldn’t have been that bad, I mean, how bad can a burger be?.. bite... %&%$ what the $^$$... drink some tea... eat the burnt cold sausage in the fridge that tastes pretty great now... think... but it’s a burger it can’t be that bad... bite.... &*^*^  I even tried picking off bits from around the side to see if they were okay... no, really this burger was inedible.  The few bits I did eat were still sitting loudly in my stomach this morning - so much for a mellow Sunday morning lie in.

Luckily I didn’t actually throw up, but maybe because my body didn’t recognise it as food.

I also ordered a Key Lime Pie which was lurking in my fridge ominously this morning.  Bit afraid to try it, but actually it’s not too bad, although not up to Caffe Nero or indeed, my, cheesecake standards.  But it’s not making me want to hurl, so massive improvement on the burger!

The kind of experience that makes you want your money back plus enough money for some therapy too... unless of course you want to become a vegetarian, it could be quite useful if you want to be put off red meat for life.  Or develop a profound new respect for McDonalds.

Don’t get me wrong, some of these are excellent, but I couldn’t, in good conscience give them a Pearl Recommendation.  Sometimes they were just beaten to the punch, or I couldn’t decide a clear winner, other times they had a lot right, but I felt they just weren’t there.  I don’t really want to give bad reviews, but anything I felt was really best avoided you’ll find in the Jellyfish section.